the amiables

I show my emotions.
I am a good team player.
I am adept at integrating conflicting opinions into a synthesis that all parties can support.
I am willing to do the unglamorous, out-of-the-limelight work.
I am very friendly in a low key way.

These are traits I learned apply to me – an amiable. Our staff engaged in a behavior styles workshop today with the goal of understanding our own uniqueness, to thereby understand and communicate better with those around us.  (This is the part where my inner cynic wants to insert the proverbial finger and gag.) 

I have taken these communication-style trainings before: the Myers Briggs assessment, the “what color am I” assessment, and various others.  Generally I feel that my category changes depending on my mood and my willingness to be honest.  I assign value judgments to my outcomes, generally negative ones.  Being an INFJ just doesn't feel like a good thing to be. 

I have to admit, today was a surprise.  Looking at the relatively short list of questions, I assumed this survey would stereotype or misrepresent the real me.  But it was spot on. Scarily spot on. I am an Amiable. This means I am diplomatic, empathetic, and a good conciliator.  I respect processes and like structured situations. This also means I avoid conflict to keep the peace, may be guarded when asked for my opinion, and can be indecisive.  But all in all, I feel the good outweigh the negative.  I am assigning this a positive value judgment. Booyah!

What surprised me most were my coworkers.  For weeks, many of them presented an overwhelming lack of onboard-edness.  They were skeptical just anticipating all the touchy-feely situations, having the spotlight cast on their personal needs, or at the very least, the non-efficiency these group activities inevitably produce (you know, the "this is a complete waste of time and I have waaay better things to do" naysayers).  What surprised me was all the laughter, the sharing between people who ordinarily have minimal interaction, and the “I know, me too!” exclamations overheard round the room.  Perhaps it was the funny, but approachable facilitator or perhaps it was the cookies.  Whatever it was that sparked us, the group seemed to buy in to the exercise.  At least most of us.  Certainly all the amiables.

Participating in this exercise has infused me with a ridiculous sense of all-knowing.  I looked at the other groups and thought, “oh yeah, she is a Driver,” or “he is definitely an Analytical.” I thought about my friends and family and assigned categories to them all, even the pets.  In our respective behavioral groups the similarities became clearer.  My group really did share a low key friendliness that I found quite comfortable. I hate to admit it, but we selected for our group logo a ying yang with two smiley faces (where is that proverbial finger now?).  And I heard from across the room: “look at that group of amiables. They really are the nicest people at the museum.”  Silly as it may be, I took this as a badge of merit.  I’ve decided it’s not a bad thing to be nice.  The world could do with a little more niceness all around.